so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
