Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
