My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
