but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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