I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
