At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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