Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
