i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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