Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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