I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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