doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I need to align my fucking chakras
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
