I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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