I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The struggles of a small town man whore
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
