you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You pole danced in your parka.
I think your dad took our porno
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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