Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize