Will you blow on my dice?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
