is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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