I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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