I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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