chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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