Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
