we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
