i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
