I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize