All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
