Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
