i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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