That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
