i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
