I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
this just has baby written all over it
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
