She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She's the barista slut.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Randomize
