Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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