I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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