I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
