is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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