I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
