I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
