oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
