You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
