When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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