I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
