Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
