Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
