Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
