Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I need to align my fucking chakras
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
