Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
