i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
