he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize