I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Can't talk, ducks in the car
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize