I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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