I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
