I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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