You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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