And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
