i need an iv and a liver transplant
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
