I hope mine doesn't look like that
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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