Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
