Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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