Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Michael Bay diarrhea
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
